‘Ready?’
….’Ready to date’.
‘FAYE – We should set you up with an online dating profile’…
A conversation I had with my best friend recently about how my love life is limper than my pony tail & dayyyyyyymn do I love a high pony tail!
So, I debated it, I have been debating it but, the more I think about my life and what it revolves around the more I pull my pony tail a little tighter & a little higher ‘Aint got no time for that’.
But, I did get to thinking about what I’d write for a bio. You know those ‘Sell your self points / choose me points / I STAND OUT GOD DAMMIT points…’ I mean dating seems to be tricky for anyone and everyone, especially during times of Covid, especially as you get older and especially when you’re SO out of touch with dating but, mix into the fact you’re a introverted ultra runner – this get’s interesting & funny as f*** when you start digging deeper into those ‘dating vibes’…
- ‘I have an appetite ;)’ – Yeaaaaaah you know it, an appetite for a starter, main, desert & your leftovers. I am literally wishing you’d ask me for advice on what to order & eat because honestly? I am already thinking about the second plate of food I am going to dig into right after I’ve finished mine in record speed…
Reality: Runners are hungry and ultra runners? yeah, we’re never full! I have a super duper healthy appetite and I won’t lie I’ve crushed a full large pizza with ALL of the toppings, washed down with 2 cans of beer in less than 15 minutes & I ain’t mad about it. - ‘Bed time? Ohhh yeah – MY FAVOURITE ;)’ – Yeaaaaaah you know it – I will literally take you to bed TO fall asleep. Then I’ll wake up in the middle of the night tossing & turning because apparently I’m in a calorie deficit and I need to eat more… Yep, food again, can’t get enough.
Reality: Sleep is vital for recovery and I will take as much as I can whenever I can. After all, I need to be in tip-top shape for the next day’s workout. Obviously. - ‘Let’s go on an adventure’ – Yeaaaaah you know it because buddy, I am definitely an outdoors gal (haha) *Checks training plan* – ‘So, I have a 3 hour run planned that day, mainly easy but at least 1000m of vert with 5 minute intervals every 25 minutes. But, we can take some shareable snacks for the half way point, as long as we don’t stop for long enough that the HR goes into a resting state’ …Are you into jogging on the spot whilst snacking?!
Reality: I am training for 100 miles buddy and I’m not half-assing it. Training > everything. - ‘I’d love to get away with you for the weekend’ – Yeaaaaaah you know it – Likely hood is I’ve been eyeing up that area for a while and ‘X, Y & Z trails are in that area that I didn’t realize until right now that they are actually on my bucket list (HA!) and I’ve ALWAYS wanted to tick off that 50 miler. Oh what, wait, there’s actually a race that weekend too. Mind if I sign up?’
Reality: I’ll try. I’ll try my hardest NOT to make everything running related but, it’s kind of engrained into me. So I don’t know, deal with it?… - ‘I am 100% a natural woman – You know the kind that looks so beautifully majestic on top of a mountain, hair blowing in the wind’ – Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah *eyeroll*
Reality: Snot rockets multiple times, salt forming in the cracks of lips, sweat stains everywhere & a matted pony tail from long hair combined with wind – Dude, what did you expect? - ‘My body tells a story’ – Yeaaaaaah you know it *Get’s naked* – So this scar is from serious sports bra chafe from the time I ran my first marathon & someone provided Vaseline to prevent said chafe but I didn’t know what the Vaseline was for so I lathered it up & then it ended up causing the chafe *smiles, the sweetest of memories* #truestory Now, this scar is when I flew down a mountain at 3 min km’s only to trip over a rock and bash up my knee in fact, if you look closely I think there’s still gravel in it *smiles, the sweetest of smiles* that pain felt good (I am an ultra runner after all, pain is my favourite…)
Reality: ‘Scars to your beautiful’ Or, something like that… - ‘We should plan something for this day’ – Yeaaaaah you know it – I will work something into my schedule so we can hang out, I promise.
Reality: *4 hours late* ‘Really sorry, I wanted to check out this trail and I kinda ended up linking it with another trail and then I ended up 10 miles from where I started sooooo, Im’a either be REALLY late orrrrr, I can show up fresh from the trail’ As mentioned above I really dig the outdoor gal look and if you’re lucky I might have another battle wound scar to add to tell yet another story of ‘That one day I got injured…’ - ‘I like to make an effort, occasionally’ – Yeaaaaah you know it – Takes an additional 30 minutes to paint toenails.
Reality: I just painted 3 of them on for you whilst moisturizing the **** out of my callises in the hopes that you will massage my fascia LOL - ‘I dig relaxing movie nights’ – Yeaaaah you know it – Redbull TV is my favorite ‘& this, this is Emile Forsberg she’s Killian’s wifey.. WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW WHO KILLIAN IS?’
Reality: We’re done. - ‘If you’re not into endurance who even are you’ – Yeaaaaaah you know it…
Reality: All of the above points are a tad extreme (or are they?) but, the more I think about it, the more I just laugh to myself. I am so in love with the process of pushing my own physical limits and testing my own endurance I literally can’t seem to find the motivation or the time to ‘swipe’ to ‘choose someone’ that I may or may not click with. So whilst the thought is often nice and I for sure found humor in reflecting and writing this… I am totally okay with a limp pony tail and an even limper love life.
….Mr charming, maybe we will align on top of a mountain 100 miles deep into a 200 mile race, you will be holding back my hair whilst I am dry heaving the chocolate covered pretzel I just ate but, until then I’ve already dismissed the idea of dating, for today. HAHAHA.
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